my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
