My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
