All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
