you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
