I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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