So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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