This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
