guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
