That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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