I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
