i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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