Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
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I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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