we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
