yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
