Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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