i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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