it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.