we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?