Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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