Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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