yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
