so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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