You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
