I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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