i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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