So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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