I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
