You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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