Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
