I wish I only lived at night.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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