this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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