i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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