if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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