youre lurking in front of me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
