i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
