I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
