Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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