no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
