Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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