i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize