So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
