they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
BRING THE BAGELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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