You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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