ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
