I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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