i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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