a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
