I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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