Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
