You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
