I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
