he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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