But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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