youre lurking in front of me
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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