he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
