her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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