At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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