I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
