This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
