I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
