dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
