got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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