This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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