And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
