Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
