Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
