Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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