when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
