And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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